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Monday, August 1, 2011

Kill It Before It Dies

Today is August 1, 2011 and Ramadan has begun. For those that are not familiar with Ramadan it is a time of fasting in the Islamic faith. If you want particulars then I would ask that you visit Over the last few months I have been in search of spiritual enlightenment and peace. While I have achieved a great magnitude of peace and comfort on this journey I am expecting the culmination of my observation of Ramadan to catapult me into a new stratosphere of spiritual existence.

I know people in this virtual world seem to think Im in happy heaven over here and I have no problems but that could be farther from the truth. I feel compelled to inform you that I have had to face so many problems and lows and extreme lows over the last six months. And there were times when I thought the weight of it all would suffocate me. There were moments when I felt God hated me but I have not once wished for death. I danced with suicide for a long time. Becoming well versed in its steps. Know the feeling beyond what any rational person should know. See no matter how bad things get or how low we may feel there is always a spiritual high that comes into play.

I am sure that many will say I dont know what Im talking about but baby trust and believe me when I say I might not know your situation but believe I know what its like to be so low you become one with the dust. I have been raped & molested I have buried both parents and a son, was in an abusive relationship, buried my significant other two of them, married young divorced left to raise two daughters, with no help or support, i have had lights turned off water turned off been homeless working demeaning low paying jobs just to be able to eat from day to day, i have had to choose between lights and food, know what struggle and depression feel like very well, and now most recently just became the a grandmother and Im only 35 to a beautiful Nadiya and handsome Nasir (not twins lol) all this to say pain happens.

No one person has the patent on hurt pain depression or struggle. It is something we all face in life and its how we deal with that struggle that determines the strength of our character and spirit. We must either search for spiritual peace and inner freedom or we shall be rittled with agony of the spirit. We must be mindful of those we allow close to us as their spirits do rub off. When we intermingle with those who have negative energy we have invited that negative energy to mingle with our own. This is supremely important in sex. We must understand the spiritual ramifications of sex or we shall never be able to break free from our sex driven mindsets and behaviors.

First lets just get this out of the way most people dont believe it BUT lust is a spirit. And those who are aware of how to discern things spiritually know that if there is enough exposure to the spirit of lust then lust will then breed. Which is why every aspect of advertising is geared toward lust of some sort. Lust is NOT just sexual in nature. But for this instance we are talking about sex. They use sex to sell us every thing, doritos snickers beer cigarettes cars medication eye ware etc. Just about any product that is marketable. They use sex in our music videos video games magazine ads tv shows movies etc. The list goes on and on. The point is there is a transference of spiritual energy during sex. This is especially toxic if you are a woman and having unprotected sex. On top of the many sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancies you (as a woman) have just received this man's semen which carries his life essence.

Whatever negative energies that man has when he emits into you now are yours. You carry his negative spirits & any positive ones. But not just his, every woman he has every slept with has left her residue on him and you get apart of it, and vice versa. This is why we shouldnt jump from one relationship to the next. Transference of spirits and we wonder why we are basket cases or schizophrenic. For those that have not taken the time to purge their essence from past relationships they are walking around with bits and pieces of countless people. Are you following me yet?

The reason so many of us are prone to depression and helpless pity filled attitudes when life happens as it does consistently is because the truth of our person is hidden beneath the many layers of others from our many sexual encounters. This is why I believe being a virgin when one wed was so important. It allowed both parties to remain pure no excess spiritual connections or attachments to others. And with out those attachments a man and woman can truly get to know each other. Not the many spirits they have picked up along the way. These spirits that dont belong to us can be just as toxic as nuclear missiles.

Have us walking around feeling depressed and ready to die when there is so much life yet to live. Questioning our own sanity due to what society believes is right. Instead of doing what is RIGHTEOUS we are walking living thinking loving marrying existing beneath our potential. All because we lack the discipline to be with out sex. Or at least have the fortitude to recognize evil demonic spirits when you come across them before you lay with them. Dont get me wrong I have missed a few in my life that were just down right no good. But after a great purging and cleansing I am free of those spirits.

During that time in life I found it hard to focus. I was so scattered always angry ready to kill or die. Hated myself my children my family just believed life would be better if I were dead. When I began a cleansing that lasted a couple of years. After that I have realized that those spirits had me confused about who I was/am. They clouded my own image of me. Blurred the truth so I couldnt see the real me.

We must not allow our hearts minds souls and spirits to be weakened and taken over by spirits. I am not saying that we all need to observe Ramadan but what I am saying is we all need a moment to seek spiritual guidance cleansing healing overstanding completion & freedom in whatever manner we seek it. We must free ourselves from that which holds us in bondage and once again walk among the garden freely.

The Universe gives us back what we put into it....I have seen so much anger hate and hurt that it scares me when I think of how we have allowed ourselves to sink so low as a people. We have lost the essence of who we are. If we dont begin that spiritual journey back to ourselves we will not only lose ourselves but die....So we must Kill it before we die.

Although I am not Islamic I am observing Ramadan. If you would like to join me on a spiritual journey and have never observed Ramadan before please feel free to contact me at


  1. Lyrical Toye, thank your for sharing this with the world and me in particular. As one who has in is currently dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts and homelessness it is therapeutic for me to read your words and thoughts, and gives me hope that I will see the light and the end of my tunnel.

    Once again thank you, for being you and my friend. I know that God (or whatever name you use for your Higher Power) will see you through, and will not only provide you with your necessities but will give you an abundance of what you most desire.

  2. Da Educated Poet, I first give thanks for such words of kindness. I offer up mounds of appreciation to you for not only taking the time to read but share. With that being said during this time of fasting and prayer I will also be praying with and for you that you may embark complete and survive your on spiritual journey to self. I give all praises to GOD for being the life essence that rest on me and offers up his hand for this cleansing and restoration in my life.

    I do suggest that you read New Brothas Chronicle it is absolutely phenomenal. The depths of his transparency is beyond anything I have been able to muster. I know that you will find similarities in your struggles but will also find encouragement and hope.